Minion from Colorado

This morning there was a minion at the Starbucks he is driving a white car he has a white dog. He is tall with long hair. He is here from Colorado and I have learned the hard way that all those here in San Antonio from Colorado are not my friends and they are enemies to our country. He gave me a poison cigarette hoping to kill me and stop me from pictures and stories. He refused to take my back story because he was told not to take it. If I were these people being told not to take my story I would become very curious to see why they are worried about the back story I would want to know what the big secret is. I personally would take it despite what the animals told me to do. 
They sent minions into the Starbucks to flush me out. I will not be listening to your instruction why would I? Where is the reward for me? I have no money no food and I am being hunted by wild animals.